Well, tonight settles it..We have a name for our son. Someone mark the date, this is a miracle!
I was three months pregnant when my precious mother-in-law Arlene went to be with the Lord. It was such an extremely taxing time emotionally and physically. The family was flying back and forth from New York to Florida and being in my first trimester –I had lost about 6-10 pounds with morning sickness and was struggling to keep up with nursing school. By this time, Mathias the German intern had moved out of the house after staying with us for a few months.
After the dust had settled with the funeral arrangements and the crowds went home, we had a few moments to grieve and reflect on the “circle of life” as they call it. Death and new life. This is so hard to process. It is difficult to wrap your mind around people saying, “Congratulations” and “Condolences” in the same breath. The guilt that was felt during that time was incredible for me. I don’t know how to grieve this incredible loss and rejoice at the same time. I felt guilty for being happy about this baby when such devastating events have altered a family forever.. And vice versa, can I grieve this insurmountable loss and yet forget there is a miracle taking place in my own body? The fact that this baby has made it through such extreme stress- intense emotional devastation, exposure to all kinds of pathogens in the ICU, contact precautions, respiratory infections on multiple occasions, MRSA in my clinical rotations, the lack of sleep, then speaking in front of 1000 people at my precious mother-in-laws funeral all while throwing up 2-3 times a day? For this baby to survive, it is a miracle! What were we gonna name this child?!
Jonathan was enjoying an afternoon football game while I was reading and this name really caught my eye. I googled the meaning.. “the Lord is exalted” That’s it! After everything we’ve been through this past year with being robbed almost 2grand we had been saving for the CD and the major discouragement that followed, the many things on our plate such as nursing school, hosting the German, fighting through the many uphill battles of the CD project, betrayal, taking a few personal attacks from the school about being pregnant, and being completely worn out by the effects of a loved one with cancer for the last year, I want this baby to signify that whatever we go through in life, whether good or difficult times, the Lord is exalted. He knows what He’s doing, regardless if we agree with Him or not.
We didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl although I had “boy feelings” up until then. Jonathan knew the name by this time and took him a minute to process it. He looked up who this character was in the Bible. To my dismay, he was an evil king…More wicked than those before him. Ouch. Jonathan was backing out quickly. What if our son makes the choice to walk away from the Lord and become wicked in his own way? O Lord, help! Are we taking this too far? Not every Judas in the Bible was a betrayer…but the most famous did end in suicide. I really wanted this name, I can’t shake it. But I’ll be open. and what if our “son” was really a girl? I have people at church suggesting names to me, “Jonathan David” was the first (like the drummer off Jonathan’s CD) and then later came Micah, (like my exboyfriend..um, that might be a little weird) and “Baby Hezekiah” was one of my faves. Some people wanted a girl for us knowing what we’ve been through with the loss of Arlene. We needed to find a doctor.. A month and a half went by with no solid doctor and no idea what gender is.
Almost 5 months pregnant, I could find out anytime what I’m really having but nothing has come about yet. Jonathan in his funny voice gets up close to my belly and says, “mommy, don’t name me after an evil king!” so I know how he feels about this name. He’s not into it at all.. I’ll keep quiet for awhile.
Has it been two months already? I’ve been mulling over this name still and knowing how Jonathan is I need to just tell him where I’m at with this.
How good God is to us! We had a “Gender Reveal Party” in which we found out it was a boy a few weeks earlier. THank you, Publix for not telling me what the gender was but filling one cupcake out of a dozen with the proper color and my sister, Hannah, who bit into the cupcake with blue filling! I think I did some jumping jacks in the kitchen! Ok, fast forward to Easter weekend. What an incredible weekend it was! It’s late, we’re in bed and I just need to tell J-town. “I just want you to know where I’m at with the baby name game. And although I’ve been super open to ideas, and things can still change, I can’t seem to shake this name yet..” Jonathan immediately grabs his iphone to google the name again. Yep, evil king…pretty wicked. Oh, wait, there was another guy mentioned with the same name. Hmm, not quite as evil but still pretty jacked and got shot in the back with an arrow. This is not winning any points for me. And then there it was, 2 more characters so quickly mentioned in the Bible, one could blink the eyes and miss it completely. One guy brought an offering to David and he then offered it to the Lord.. And then another one mentioned was a priest who ministered to King David. Jonathan with excitement says to me, “The Lord is Exalted.” I just about cried. Thank you, Lord! It felt like the scene from the Navity Movie when that priest can’t speak for 9 months while his wife Elizabeth is pregnant.. To the shock of everyone- going against cultural tradition by not naming his firstborn after himself, he writes, “His name is John,” (later becoming John the Baptist) and his tongue was loosed that very day.
Well, there you have it.. I am so blessed..My son..I can’t wait to meet him.
His name is Joram-The LoRd is Exalted