Here I come world!

I’m about to finish nursing school.

This is unbelieveable. I think this is the first major thing I can say I’ve accomplished in a few years. I dropped out of college. Became a licensed massage therapist but that didn’t quite take off.. Jumped into ballroom career for 5 years yet though there were many dance accomplishments, never became a certified instructor.

I wanted straight A’s. That didn’t quite happen but a B or two isn’t gonna hold me down. I’m graduating! Today, I was excited for the first time about my nursing career. It has been such a long journey with more obstacles than I could’ve imagined at the beginning of this race.

A quick overview:
-I started the program 3 weeks behind.
-Welcomed a German exchange student into our home just 3 weeks after school began
-we got robbed almost $2,000 in October
-Continued to  care for my precious mother in law who had Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer
-Got pregnant in October
-Trying to find a new home for the German
-Dealing with financial problems.
-Family flying in and out of town by late November during this cancer battle
-THrowing up mutliple times a day from morning sickness and desperately trying to stay on top of school.
– took time off of the band during November/December
-I was asked to step out of the nursing program in December
-Devastating death in the family, January 2012
-Searching for the right baby doctor continues
-My husband releases is first CD in March
-Financial problems continue
-and of course, the auto problems, computer frying, and appliances all seem to break simultaneously.

Finally, we are here. I am about 7 months pregnant. With a handful of 12 hour clinicals behind me and a few days left to go, I see graduation quickly approaching. Yes, I am glad I’ve made it this far, only by His grace! What will i do in nursing?  It hit me today. I’m a med-surg girl. I love the body. I love how it works and what it’s capable of doing. I want to learn! Don’t give me a mundane, nothing ever changes job.. I wanna see life! Now we’re talking!

While my counterparts are off making a dollar, i’ll be in a season of changing diapers. But what a privaledge! I was told this year that I could’ve prevented this pregnancy. But what a greater gift than any career could ever give. Don’t take that from me. I had  the lyrics of Lauryn Hill stuck in my head:

Unsure of what the balance held
I touched my belly overwhelmed
By what I had been chosen to perform
But then an angel came one day
Told me to kneel down and pray
For unto me a man child would be born
Woe this crazy circumstance
I knew his life deserved a chance
But everybody told me to be smart
Look at your career they said,
“Lauryn, baby use your head”
But instead I chose to use my heart

And I will end this chapter in my life  graduating nursing school with a giant dance party. How sweet it is!

I am so looking forward to all God has in store.

Ephesians 3:20: Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…

I had a dream…

The rapture had happened…BAM! just like that… and I was left behind. How could this be? I’ve been walking with the Lord for over 5 years now and growing deeper with Him on the daily. The sickening feeling kept sinking in as I am desperately looking for my husband, my friend Debbie, anyone else that I know are Christians.


I’m at my house and to my horror,  people start to come over. First it was my sister and her boyfriend. Then it was others. A friend from high school that became a pole dancer. A classmate. I’m surrounded by these people who know something just happened, know that my husband and I are Christians but chose not walk it out themselves.. but wait, why am I here? I’m trying desperately to process all of this. I’m almost embarrassed. LoRd?!

Conversations come and go with the event.  They all showed up at my house knowing we’d have the answer and we’d preached it before..Yet it’s just me.. “Guess that Jesus stuff really was legit,” someone said… I feel like i’m gonna throw up because I read the Scripture and I  know what’s around the corner now.

Then I awoke.

What could be the meaning behind the dream? My exboyfriend gave me a book that I must’ve read over 100 times: “Your Dreams: God’s Neglected Gift.” Most Westerners blow off many meaningful dreams thinking it was something they ate. However, taking a look at historical figures, philosophers and even the Scripture, you can find that dreams were taken very seriously. If we won’t hear God in our daily life, He will try to speak to us through dreams. And just like a child watches and understand a movie, a series of pictures in our dreams tells us a story. The meanings are different for each individual and most dreams aren’t  as complicated as we make them out to be. If we take a little time, we can discover the message behind it.

I read this in the morning:

Jesus talking to his disciples before he makes his way to the cross:

So you also, when you see these things happening, know that the kingdom of God is near..and that Day will come unexpectedly.  For it will come as a snare on those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass… Luke 21: 31-36

I realized through this that I need a greater heart for people who don’t know Jesus. People I know and love that live life all around me.  I can be too comfortable with my life, my friends and yet, what impact am I truly making if I live for myself?  There is nothing weird about Christianity or having a relationship with Jesus. It’s the best life ever. Next stop: eternity. WAKE UP! Am I ready? Are those I love ready?

Are you??